the first...

It was difficult for me to fully hold this concept in myself - that only I can really help myself.

I had for years thought almost that enlightenment or spiritual growth could be bought, for example that if I won lotto I would travel around and learn with various teachers, take retreats, courses etc...

Now I think the opposite is truer... remain in yourself, know yourself and enlightenment will be found.

This is quite close to the sentiment of this blog - which arose through my wondering why I was no closer to living the self-sufficient lifestyle on my own small holding that I desired. I came to truly feel the idea of "as above, so below"... This thinking is written in all personal development texts - that you must believe within yourself that you are X in order to have and embody X in your life.

I am still working with this growth and particularly the essence of the first sentence of this post.

This has been brought keenly to my awareness recently as I work through my life. Solace has been sought many places and in many hearts... though at the end of the day it just me who is there driving through the tunnel listening to Bon Iver and crying and shouting. And actually thinking that I'd broken the stereo from shouting so hard.

In order to be loved, we must all love only ourselves first. That is what this blog and what Life are all about. Love.